C.T. Thomas @ GurgleSlurp.com



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Accidetnal Nudity: Timing is everything
February 18, 2013

Here's that erection assistant cream I borrowed, I know this is a big date for you tonight!

Here’s that erection assistant cream I borrowed, I know this is a big date for you tonight!


5 instances of slightly inappropriate touching!

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Accidental Nudity: Erectile Dystfunction
February 11, 2013

Just give him a few hours in this position and it should go down, and for god's sake, don't try to touch it!

“Just give him a few hours in this position and it should go down, and for god’s sake, don’t try to touch it!”


6 instances of slightly inappropriate touching!

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All’s fair
February 8, 2013


3 instances of slightly inappropriate touching!

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Accidental Nudity: Breakfast of champions
January 23, 2013

Sarah had doubts about how breakfast cereal could save her marriage, but Ann swore by it, so it seemed worth a try.


2 instances of slightly inappropriate touching!

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Why I’m not a lesbian (pt. 3)
January 21, 2013

Bitches be stealin’ my clothes!

I like for the ladies to be built pretty much like I am, about my height, about my frame. I also like when girls are into fashion and style. Put these two things together and you wind up with the opportunity to double your wardrobe just by dating! Sounds great, right? Lesbian!

How can this possibly be a negative?

Because every single person who I have ever lent an item of clothing to, has looked better in that that item of clothing than I did!!! Every single time! This is okay if the person I’ve lent something to is going out with a group that I’m not a part of, but if they go out with people I know, then I can never wear that item with those people again! Sounds paranoid? Well fuck you.

The problem of course, is boobs. So long as the item fits, boobs make everything better: sweaters, blazers, blouses, even skirts and pants somehow. And everybody I know has bigger boobs than I do, which means they instantly look better in everything of mine that fits them. I could of course simply refrain from being with women who have bigger boobs than me, except, well, that sounds really depressing.

The Princess will have to do for me – his boobs may be bigger than mine, but he never wears my clothes. At least not in public.


3 instances of slightly inappropriate touching!

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