“911? Yes, hi. I had a question about lockjaw, and a possible emergency…”

Here’s that erection assistant cream I borrowed, I know this is a big date for you tonight!

“Just give him a few hours in this position and it should go down, and for god’s sake, don’t try to touch it!”

Sarah had doubts about how breakfast cereal could save her marriage, but Ann swore by it, so it seemed worth a try.