C.T. Thomas @ GurgleSlurp.com



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All’s fair
February 8, 2013


3 instances of slightly inappropriate touching!

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Turkey is NOT a euphemism
January 11, 2013

To the grocery store bagger whom I groped most severely I assure you that it was entirely unintentional.  I suspect you are not even 17, and frankly, I’m just not into that. I tend not to consider you young people fully human until you’re at least 25. Anyhow, I had no idea what had happened until it was over This is not a slight against your burgeoning manliness You were holding the bag open while I eased the turkey in. The paper in plastic wasn’t cooperating, and I was merely attempting to unfold the crumpled edge of the paper bag.  Had we been using paper OR plastic, or one of our reusable cloth bags, this would not have happened. I was unaware that anything was amiss until I noticed that you were blushing profusely At which point I dropped the turkey and snatched my hands out of the bag. Sorry about your pinky finger, like the cashier said, it didn’t really look all that broken.


3 instances of slightly inappropriate touching!

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The ingredients are in the cupboard
May 17, 2012

The ingredients are in the cupboard


2 instances of slightly inappropriate touching!

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Isn’t it romantic?
May 9, 2012

Let's dress up and have a romantic dinner - you're cooking, right?


2 instances of slightly inappropriate touching!

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Putting my face on
May 2, 2012

Eyeliner, shadow, mascara, lipstick - ta da!


2 instances of slightly inappropriate touching!







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