“Right now it’s just me and Bin Bin.”

“Frog needs to be outside.”

“Bin Bin likes life indoors.”

“This is how it starts, Illandra,” Filomena put her bread on the table. “I had me a rooster – Rikel – best rooster you could imagine. Feathers soft and straight. He’d nip at my nose to wake me before he’d start to crow, considerate little fellow. We had a bond. But these things always get out of hand.”

Illandra’s eyes widened, her spoon stopped halfway toward her mouth, “Pardon?”

“Oh not like that, you hussy! Get your head out of the trough!”

Illandra sat down to her bowl of stew, rabbit and cabbage, one of her favourites.

“Rabbit, Filomena?” she asked, “What’s the occasion?”

“Felt like rabbit.” Filomena answered through a mouthful of cabbage. “You find yourself a man yet?”

Illandra groaned, “No.” Illandra’s maidenhood was a frequent topic of discussion at the table. Filomena was a firm believer that prolonged virginity was the cause of facial warts, and was sure that Illandra had only a year or two left before her first would appear.

“You best get on that, it’ll only get harder if your first wart comes in.”

Illandra forced her eyes down to look at her bowl rather than at FIlomena’s blemishes.

The doctor’s explained that without their feeding tubes, the patients would die, but Delta Burke refused to give them back.

Here’s that erection assistant cream I borrowed, I know this is a big date for you tonight!