“Sincere apologies for the mix-up, but I must say, these are some of my best work.”

The best thing about my Ulcerative Colitis is unquestionably the post therapy bingefest. I take a drug called Remicade (Infliximib) by way of IV infusion, every couple months. It’s a TNF Alpha inhibitor, which prevents my colon from responding to my immune system, thus keeping me from having inflammation, and you know, dying. To help prevent my system from forming antibodies against the drug, I get a big shot of Cortisone (a steroid) beforehand. I usually get that at about 10 am, and by noon I’m pretty famished.

When you’re prescribed a steroid you can expect to gain some weight, this isn’t because the drug makes you gain weight – it’ll shift some fat stores, which sometimes equally sucks, but it won’t cause direct weight gain. What it will do, is completely prevent your brain from receiving the signal that your stomach is full.

And it’s awesome. Every bite is a quest to sate the insatiable. Every morsel is enjoyed like a jealousy guarded delicacy. And my body feels great. My brain can’t tell me that I’m stuffed, so it’s impossible to feel icky. I stop because my tongue begins to ache and my teeth have tired of chewing.

My Cortisone shot only has this effect for a few days, but I only indulge in the binge on day one; if I do this for even two days in a row I will cease to comfortably fit into my pants.